Wide Awake and Dreaming

I still get up in the morning sorry that the dream I just had about me and Penny wasn't real.

Sometimes, I still find myself wondering if I'll wake up and realize that the last 6 months of my life with Penny was just a fantasy and never really happened. I open my planner and see a handwritten note that she put in there when I wasn't looking and realize that the last six months have been just as wonderful as I thought they were.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about a mutual friend and his relationship with a woman who has been in and out of his life for a few years now. My friend turns to me and says “His girlfriend is pretty but not nearly as pretty as Penny.” I was not really expecting the comment but it did confirm something that I already knew. Penny is gorgeous. Again, another affirmation that my relationship hasn't been a fairy tale or a dream. The love I've experienced for the last several months has been real and tangible.

Penny has other life responsibilities in addition to the time she spends with me. I've never been the type of person who worries about every little thing. I have to admit that my biggest fear is the day that Penny tells me it's over. I call it “the dark place” and it's a place I try to stay away from. Nothing lasts forever. I understand that. I just hope that we do. How do you just extinguish the love that we generate? You can't turn it off and on like a switch.

For the first and only time in my life, I'm in a relationship that is deeply rooted in love and trust and a whole list of other pleasant nouns, adjectives, and verbs.

I'm more in love with Penny than the last time I posted anything on this site. This isn't some platitude or something I say to make us feel better. I really mean that I love her more with each passing day. It grows with every kiss, every embrace, and every time we make love. It grows when I can only hold her for a few minutes before she needs to rush off to tend to her other adventures.

I was married when I was very young and I believed that it was the real thing. It wasn't. I was in another long relationship after that and I knew that it wasn't going to last. If you've gotten anything out of reading this blog, you should know how anti-relationship I was before falling in love with Penny. If you read posts from the beginning until now, you can see how much Penny has changed my life. My world now revolves around her and everyday I thank heaven for helping us cross paths a couple of years ago.

Of my first marriage, I'll only say this to my ex-wife. For you, I was a chapter in your book. For me, you were the book.

I hope to look back in a few years and say to Penny. For us, this is a book that we will continue to add chapters to.

I love Penny with the intensity of a thousand suns.

She is a beautiful gorgeous person.


The Next Amazingly Stupid Idea

Book trailers.

That's right. You read that correctly. Book trailers.

A video made up or comprised of borrowed or stolen visual elements used to convince someone to buy the book. These things look like they were assigned to the local 5th grade class as an introduction to making your own videos for grandma. In a few rare cases, some of them look like college kids created them for extra credit.

Let me tell you something you should already have surmised about “book trailers.” Books are read and the images are painted by the author with words. The only visual medium associated with reading books are the visuals you create in your own mind when you read it. That is the glory of books. It's not some television show or movie that the director is interpreting for you. With books, the interpretations are all up to you. They are what your mind creates when you read it.

Perhaps, you could consider the cover. It is visual. A well designed cover can peek your interest and help “reel” you in. For me, I'm more interested in the summary of what the book is about and the title. If those two things peek my interest then I usually buy the book regardless of what the cover looks like. For example, the Scrapyard Ship series has horrible artwork but the books are really good.

Books are one type of format; video trailers for a book are quite another type of format. They really don't mix and every one I've seen so far makes me want to poke my eyes out with a large flexible straw (the kind you get at Dairy Queen).

To the idiots who think book trailers are a good idea, I beg of you.

Please stop the madness.


Penny is in a lot of pain right now and I can't really do anything about it. Physical pain, mind you. If I caused her any emotional stress, I'd have to jump out of a window. I feel bad because I can't do anything and the typical guy mentality suggests that I feel a deep need to fix everything. I do. I do feel a need to fix her problem but I don't know what to do about it.

I wish there was a way for me to take the pain for her. I would. I would do that without hesitation because I'd rather suffer than see her going through this. So it is when we fall in love with someone. They become everything we are. We become one and seeing the other in pain makes us cry.

I hate to see my beloved Penny in pain.

Sometimes I feel that if I could just hold her…

…it would all just melt away…

I hope you get better soon babe. I love you!

A Tale of Two Lovers

Penny and I are more in love with each other today than we’ve ever been and we’re both a little puzzled by it. Our love keeps growing and it continues to surprise us as it does. I never expected to be in love at this point in my life and I certainly didn’t expect to be THIS in love with anyone. I didn’t know it was possible. It is and our love is a wonderful thing.

If you leave Penny and I alone together for a few minutes, we’ll fuck. I have such an overwhelming desire to feel her body next to mine that it’s all I can think about sometimes. I just want to be with her as much as time and life allows. Sliding my cock inside her wet pussy feels just as good now (if not better) than it felt the first time we fucked. The way she sucks my cock is unparalleled. I used to not care about getting my dick sucked but now, I can’t wait until Penny rubs me, makes me hard, and wraps her sweet lips around my cock.

We’ve played with each other’s asses a bunch this past week. Sliding our fingers inside each other’s asses drove us both to a level of sensuality that seemed new and exciting. I find myself wanting to do so much more with Penny than anyone else I’d ever been with. She is an amazing woman with an incredible amount of love and passion. She shares these things with me every day and I am forever grateful to the universe for sending her my way. 

Penny goes out of her way to do things for me like painting her nails and trimming/shaving her pussy. Again, this woman overwhelms me with emotions that I find difficult to put into words. These things she does may seem trivial to some but to me, they mean a great deal.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. 

Wouldn’t It Be Nice If…

…if racism, prejudice, and various other irrational social behaviors were a thing of the past?

They can be. Here is how.

Stop writing stories like this…

Apple CEO Tim Cook ‘outed’ as gay by CNBC coanchor

Who cares what Tim Cook’s sexual orientation is? Oh, I get it. The person who wrote the article cares. I mean. Obviously. They took the time to write a story about the CEO of Apple being gay. What that tells me is that the author of the story is bothered by this.

Why else would you write it?

I’m a writer and I usually write about things that interest me.

The only way to get past problems like racism and sexual prejudices is to stop throwing it in everyone’s face. Start focusing on the person. “Mary, the young lady that works at the drug store” doesn’t need to be written as “Mary, the young openly gay lady that works at the drug store” because let’s face it…who really gives a shit about her bedroom life? I’d be more concerned about whether or not she’s going to screw up my prescription.

With Tim Cook, I’m more interested in how he’s running Apple. I don’t have any idea why I should care about whether or not he is gay, straight, or an alien from the Orion cluster.

Where Churches Lose Me

The way that I was brought up dictated that churches stay out of politics. No matter what those politics happen to be. In my particular case, the churches role was to bring people to Christ. That’s it.

When churches (any one, you choose) decide to support a political candidate, endorse a soft drink, or this gem I found this morning…

Presbyterian Church dumps companies it says help Israel suppress Palestinians

…you overstep your bounds of what a church is supposed to be. I don’t understand how the words “where two or more are gathered in my name, so shall I be” translates into boycotting companies or endorsing political candidates.

Let’s face it, if Jesus were here with us right now he wouldn’t do that.

To the people that twist and pervert the ancient text of the bible to mean that murder is ok sometimes and supporting political candidates is what a church should be doing, I say this.

My Jesus forgives your Jesus.

Growing Love by the Numbers

My love for Penny continues to grow and expand every day. I'm not sure how that works but I just know that my feelings for her seem to grow stronger with every passing day. Perhaps, absence is making the heart grow fonder? There is a whole lot of absense so that might be true.

We actually did the math on how few hours we spend together in a week and it almost makes you want to cry. Maybe we get 2 hours a day. That would be about 8 percent of a whole day. That equates to 10 hours a week or 5.95%.

We get about 6% to discuss what matters to us, to hold each other, and to make love to each other.

Most people get about 82% or less if you consider travel and other such things. Let's make it 75%.

I'm quite sure that Penny and I do more in the name of love with only 6% than most people do with 75%.

When I see how miserable most people are around me, I'll take my 6% with Penny over that kind of life any day.